Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Is it accurate to say that while Donald Trump has "America First" policy, the Democratic Party has "Other nations first" policy?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why is the mainstream media, traditionally liberal except for Fox, not reporting on Trump like he's a traditional candidate who has ideas, values, and a concern for the common good?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why are white guys the top consumers of interracial porn? What's the rationale behind this phenomenon?

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why does my vagina always itch so badly after my periods?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Do conservative white women like black men?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How can the citizens of Russia accept the enormous difference between people? The richest 500 Russians own more than the poorest 99.8% of the entire Russian population combined. Why don't we see any protests?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Do you as a gay male enjoy the feeling of getting a penis in your anus?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do some straight men like to suck dick but don't find other males attractive?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What is your favourite true story to tell at a party?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I see through liars

Why do people have polyamorous relationships?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How do you take your erotic photos and how do you choose the poses?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How do you handle family members who ask for handouts?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Does the U.S military really prosecute military staff for cheating on their spouse, or do they close one eye if the cheating does not involve other military personnel since adultery is fairly common? Adultery is illegal in U.S military

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I actually pay taxes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

I can count

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write